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"My words are Spirit and Life, and not to be weighed by the understanding of man. They are not to be drawn forth for vain approbation, but to be heard in silence, and to be received with all humility and great affection."
Thomas à Kempis

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The Old Time Gospel
Ministry

Over 9,600 pages
of Christian material.



"The Lord gave the word:
great was the company of
those that published it."

Psalm 68:11


A Ministry dedicated to preserving the truth and accuracy of the infallible Word of God.
Especially For Men:     "The integrity of the upright shall guide them:"   Proverbs 11:3


The Man of Integrity


"The steps of a good man
are ordered by the LORD:
and he delighteth in his way."

Psalm 37:23

Back to Men's Ministry Index


It's Sure Great to be a Guy!

•   Phone conversations last 30 seconds

•   You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes

•   A five day vacation requires only one suitcase

•   Bathroom lines are 80% shorter

•   You can open all your own jars

•   Old friends don't care if you've lost or gained weight

•   You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go

•   You can go to the bathroom alone

•   Your last name stays put

•   You can leave a hotel room bed unmade

•   You can kill your own food

•   The garage is all yours

•   Cleaning the toilet is optional

•   You can be showered and ready in ten minutes

•   Wedding plans take care of themselves

•   If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend

•   None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry

•   You don't have to shave below your neck

•   If you're 34 and single, no one notices

•   Chocolate is just another snack

•   You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat

•   Three pair of shoes are more than enough

•   You can whip your shirt off on a hot day

•   Car mechanics tell you the truth

•   You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut

•   You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking "He must be mad at me"

•   One mood, all the time

•   You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him

•   Gray hair and wrinkles add character

•   You don't care if someone is talking behind your back

•   You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's

•   You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the bathroom

•   If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed

•   If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies

•   The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected

•   If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room

•   New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet

•   You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is funny

•   If you retain water, it is in a canteen

•   You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

•   Flowers and/or Duct Tape fix everything


Car Dealers Own Medicine!

A farmer had been taken several times by a local car dealer.
One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow.

The farmer priced the unit as follows:

Basic Cow
Shipping and Handling
Extra Stomach
Two-tone Exterior
Produce Storage Compartment
Heavy Duty Straw Chopper
4-Spigot/High Output Drain System
Automatic Fly Swatter
Genuine Cowhide Upholstery
Deluxe Dual Horns
Automatic Fertilizer Attachment
4 X 4 Traction Drive Assembly
Pre-Delivery Wash and Comb

Farmer Suggested List Price
Additional Dealer Adjustment

Total list price (including options)
Tax and Ear Tags

TOTAL PURCHASE PRICE

$999.95
35.75
79.25
142.10
128.50
189.60
149.20
88.50
170.80
59.25
339.40
884.16
69.80

$3336.26
300.00

$3636.26
418.00

$4054.26

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© 1999 The Old Time Gospel Ministry
"When to seek God has become life and to glorify God has become self, then you have truly found God."