The Man of Integrity

"The steps of a good man
are ordered by the LORD:
and he delighteth in his way."
Psalm 37:23

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It's Sure Great to be a Guy!

•   Phone conversations last 30 seconds

•   You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes

•   A five day vacation requires only one suitcase

•   Bathroom lines are 80% shorter

•   You can open all your own jars

•   Old friends don't care if you've lost or gained weight

•   You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go

•   You can go to the bathroom alone

•   Your last name stays put

•   You can leave a hotel room bed unmade

•   You can kill your own food

•   The garage is all yours

•   Cleaning the toilet is optional

•   You can be showered and ready in ten minutes

•   Wedding plans take care of themselves

•   If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend

•   None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry

•   You don't have to shave below your neck

•   If you're 34 and single, no one notices

•   Chocolate is just another snack

•   You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat

•   Three pair of shoes are more than enough

•   You can whip your shirt off on a hot day

•   Car mechanics tell you the truth

•   You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut

•   You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking "He must be mad at me"

•   One mood, all the time

•   You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him

•   Gray hair and wrinkles add character

•   You don't care if someone is talking behind your back

•   You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's

•   You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the bathroom

•   If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed

•   If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies

•   The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected

•   If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room

•   New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet

•   You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is funny

•   If you retain water, it is in a canteen

•   You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

•   Flowers and/or Duct Tape fix everything

Car Dealers Own Medicine!

A farmer had been taken several times by a local car dealer.
One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow.

The farmer priced the unit as follows:

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